Today I weigh 186.4 lbs. How did this happen? I'm sure drinking beer almost every night and not eating too healthy along with never working out helped that, don't you think?
Well I'm sick of it, I've been sick of it for a long time now. Yesterday I went and met with a nutritionist to help me get on track, and to figure out how many calories I should consume in day, and do just get an idea of what an average day of eating should look like.

She found it pretty surprising when I told her how much beer I drink on a regular basis, but what can I say? I'm a drinker. So no more of that.. we'll see if I can do it. Encouragement would be nice but I've failed so many times already I don't even want to go there.

Having been skinny all my life (5'2" and usually around 119-125 lbs), it's a stark resemblance to what I look like now. I'm always exhausted, depressed and just plain miserable. I don't like going out or seeing anyone I know. I hate my picture being taken. Having three kids and this attitude isn't the best- I want a family photo- I want a cute picture of me and my son when I visit him at school- it's the little things.

I think if I can get my drinking under control (stop FULL stop), it'll help a lot. I mean, the calories alone in a beer- and then after drinking you want to eat totally fattening greasy food.. then the next day your super hungover and eat like shit.. so yeah, not a good thing.
Last week I replaced beer with Pepsi, so I allowed myself to drink Pepsi all day so I'd stay relaxed and feel good so by the end of the night I wasn't a crazed momma "needing" that drink. It helped and worked for about 4 days. My nutritionist suggested La Croix, as it still has that pop 'fizz' but no calories. I found Fresca at the store and I'll try that instead.

My meal plan is pretty simple and easy to follow, I already love fruits, veggies, whole grains so I don't think this will be too hard for me. I made out a chart of what I need/can eat during the day so that'll be nice to have as a reference.

One thing I was told to add in my day was to exercise. I hate to exercise. I hate getting sweaty and I simply do not have the motivation. But I'm breaking out my dvd's (still in plastic wrap might I add from the last time I felt the need to get in shape) and am going to start today. I have to do this. I have to stick to this. I'm tired of being depressed.

I bought a scale today which I've always thought of as the devil because your weight fluctuates anyways from day to day so it makes people real miserable. But I also know that when your burning fat your also gaining muscle so I know not to get too discouraged.

The good thing is that the food changes aren't too drastic- I can handle toast with peanut butter and some string cheese for a morning snack! And a 3/4 cup bowl of Fiber One cereal (which is actually really good and the portion size is perfect), a piece of fruit and some low-fat cheese. Lunch will be a usual sandwich and salad with a fruit and raw carrots, etc.. I mean I eat this stuff any way.. so I just need to get all of this junk food out of my house- which is hard with three kids.. we'll see how it goes.

The nutritionist, Vera, told me that we really only enjoy the first and last bites of our food.. the rest is mindless eating. I like that concept, it makes sense. She also told me that if I stick on this meal plan and exercise at least 30 mins a day, I should lose a pound a day. I'm good with that. Let's see how this goes.

This is day one, early afternoon, and I can already feel my body kind of 'suffering' from the lack of sugar I would have probably consumed by now- bad sugar I mean. I'm sure it'll take me a week or so for my body to not be so 'out of it' and accept that I'm not pumping crap in to my system.

It's lunch time now so going to fix some food then lay Ava down for her nap. Then the dvd.. we'll see how it goes, and sore I get!